Right around Christmas time, I decided it would be a good idea to craft...A LOT...sign up for a few boutiques and try to earn some money to pay a couple of bills or use for Christmas shopping. Makes sense, right? I prayed it over, and went on my merry, crafting way.
My kids learned to eat dinner at the coffee table. My son, who is being homeschooled, learned to do schoolwork next to the dining room table, (that's the table we usually use for schooling purposes), and my husband wondered if the mess would ever go away. I felt more and more guilty, all the while convincing myself (or trying to anyway) that God wanted me to do this for them. "I" was 'helping.' So if we suffered through a bit, "I" would be able to relieve some of the financial burden of the holidays. "I" was going to fix it!
Three boutiques, and several hours of work, later I had made a little bit of money. Would it cover one bill? Sure. Was it worth the time, energy, and frustration? Never.
I felt so discouraged. I kept praying and asking God why it wasn't working out. Didn't He know my heart? Didn't He want me to help out financially? Didn't He understand how frustrated I was?
A friend of mine, before the final boutique, had said something that really hit home. "If God only wants me to make $20, then that's enough, because He knows $20 is all I need right then." So true. I kept reminding myself of her words and praying that God would help me to accept them and let go of everything else.
The kids and I enjoyed listening to Psalty's Christmas Calamity during the holiday season. An album I listened to as a little girl, and a message that I pray I can hold on to forever...It's not by (my) might, nor by (my) power, but by HIS spirit that problems are resolved.
On the cd, Psalty and the kids run into a little dilemma when they are trying to rehearse songs for their Christmas Eve service. They try everything, except prayer, to fix their problem. After the kids go home, discouraged, Psalty is left alone and hears the Lord speaking to him. God explains that the problem isn't with the music, but with Psalty's heart. He explains that Psalty, (who is a singing songbook, btw), has been putting faith in his own pages, rather than in God. Hello light bulb!!
Once Psalty recognizes the error of his ways and decides to trust in Jesus, the 'God voice' sings, "Fix it. I'm gonna fix it. You just put your trust in me and I will fix it..." Then Psalty replies, "Lord I'll put my trust in you, that's the best thing I can do. I will walk by faith and not by sight, you'll fix it." Ahhh...such simple songs and simple words, and yet so powerful. How sad is it that a children's Christmas album, was what it took to humble me and bring me to tears of repentance? I suppose it's true...the Holy Spirit uses whatever opportunity He can to reach our hearts.
I then realized that my prayer to help out by crafting, was somewhat thoughtlessly lifted to God, and I never really listened for His answer or guidance. Instead I tried to fix things on my own. The $22 that I made at my first boutique, really was just enough. God knew that I needed to be humbled. He knew I was missing the point, and rather than bless my socks off through great sales, He knew I needed to be blessed by depending on Him.
He can take the difficult times in our lives, and what we consider to be our failures, and use them as wonderful teaching opportunities if we let Him. My prayer for my life and yours, is that we recognize those opportunities and learn from them, rather than be discouraged by them, because those are the opportunities He will use to draw us closer to Him.:)
Have an amazing week!!
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Sunday, January 1, 2012
A Permanent Resolution
2012 is upon us! Can you believe it??
With the new year, for many of us, come new year resolutions. We decide we need to make changes and we use the beginning of the year to start fresh. If you're at all like me, resolutions are quickly forgotten, your old self shines through just as brightly as ever, and by Christmas you've made a resolution for the upcoming year to pick up where you left off the year before.
I did much of that in the past. Along with whatever new feat I desired to accomplish, there was the usual; start a diet (and stay on it), work out daily, be a size smaller by next Christmas, etc, etc...and by February, as my birthday approached, I realized I liked cheesecake more than vegetables, and being cozy rather than running out in the cold...and the old me settled comfortably back in.
I used to have every excuse in the book as to why I hadn't changed. I spent a lot of time looking for quick fixes, and pointing fingers at everyone other than myself when things didn't work out. With each new year, I wished for change, and wallowed in self pity when things didn't go as planned. I allowed my fear and insecurity to talk me out of whatever it was I wanted to accomplish. I cried desperate prayers every night to a God I didn't really believe wanted to make me better.
Then, one beautiful day, I surrendered. I knew that if I was going to be the person God designed me to be I had to listen to Him, and TRUST him. I said a prayer, not out of selfishness, but instead with a genuine desire to be close to Him. I told him that I wanted to have a deep and meaningful relationship with Him. I said that I knew that at times I would fail, but that I didn't want my failures to hold me back from the growth he had in store for me. For the first time in my life, I accepted the forgiveness, grace, and love that he so freely offers to us and longed for His desires to become my own.
That was nearly ten years ago. The difference that year was that I made a resolution, not to make yearly resolutions. I made a decision to really change. I resolved to cling to the very best "self help" book ever written. The book that teaches you to help yourself by letting go of "self" and serving others. The book that shows you the way, through truth, and offers life. And I stand amazed at the work God has done in my life.
So, was I changed overnight??? Definitely not!! In fact, I even struggled for a few years trying to figure out what I was doing and how to really change. I read my Women's Devotional Bible, and found great insight and comfort through many of the daily devotions sprinkled throughout the pages, but at times, still felt a little lost. Baby steps.
A few years ago I was blessed with new friends. These were Christian friends whose daily routines were similar to my own. Through these new friends God reminded me how very crucial it is to spend time with him every day, and he showed me how wonderful it is to participate in a small group Bible study. He's offered me new growth through fellowship with women who love him. For that I am blessed.
So, as I begin this new year, once again I resolve to continue to grow in Christ's love; to acknowledge appreciate, and be content with, the blessings he's bestowed upon me; and to draw closer to Him every day. I look forward to seeing what He has in store for my family and friends this year. I look back on 2011, inventory my growth, and evaluate lessons I need to learn from my shortcomings so that I may continue to strive for the perfection Christ modeled for us. I resolve to love others as Christ loved us and to work diligently to make a difference in the lives of those around me.
It is my prayer that, if you've read this, you, also, will enjoy the best life God has to offer. I pray that you will continue on your journey through this life with him, and if you haven't taken that step, that you may be challenged to give it a try. Once you truly experience his love, you won't want to live without it! May this year's resolution be lasting, and the peace and joy you find this year, surpass anything you've ever dreamt or imagined.
Happy New Year!!
(and for the sake of silliness...I resolve to find a "healthy" cheesecake recipe by my next birthday.) ;)
With the new year, for many of us, come new year resolutions. We decide we need to make changes and we use the beginning of the year to start fresh. If you're at all like me, resolutions are quickly forgotten, your old self shines through just as brightly as ever, and by Christmas you've made a resolution for the upcoming year to pick up where you left off the year before.
I did much of that in the past. Along with whatever new feat I desired to accomplish, there was the usual; start a diet (and stay on it), work out daily, be a size smaller by next Christmas, etc, etc...and by February, as my birthday approached, I realized I liked cheesecake more than vegetables, and being cozy rather than running out in the cold...and the old me settled comfortably back in.
I used to have every excuse in the book as to why I hadn't changed. I spent a lot of time looking for quick fixes, and pointing fingers at everyone other than myself when things didn't work out. With each new year, I wished for change, and wallowed in self pity when things didn't go as planned. I allowed my fear and insecurity to talk me out of whatever it was I wanted to accomplish. I cried desperate prayers every night to a God I didn't really believe wanted to make me better.
Then, one beautiful day, I surrendered. I knew that if I was going to be the person God designed me to be I had to listen to Him, and TRUST him. I said a prayer, not out of selfishness, but instead with a genuine desire to be close to Him. I told him that I wanted to have a deep and meaningful relationship with Him. I said that I knew that at times I would fail, but that I didn't want my failures to hold me back from the growth he had in store for me. For the first time in my life, I accepted the forgiveness, grace, and love that he so freely offers to us and longed for His desires to become my own.
That was nearly ten years ago. The difference that year was that I made a resolution, not to make yearly resolutions. I made a decision to really change. I resolved to cling to the very best "self help" book ever written. The book that teaches you to help yourself by letting go of "self" and serving others. The book that shows you the way, through truth, and offers life. And I stand amazed at the work God has done in my life.
So, was I changed overnight??? Definitely not!! In fact, I even struggled for a few years trying to figure out what I was doing and how to really change. I read my Women's Devotional Bible, and found great insight and comfort through many of the daily devotions sprinkled throughout the pages, but at times, still felt a little lost. Baby steps.
A few years ago I was blessed with new friends. These were Christian friends whose daily routines were similar to my own. Through these new friends God reminded me how very crucial it is to spend time with him every day, and he showed me how wonderful it is to participate in a small group Bible study. He's offered me new growth through fellowship with women who love him. For that I am blessed.
So, as I begin this new year, once again I resolve to continue to grow in Christ's love; to acknowledge appreciate, and be content with, the blessings he's bestowed upon me; and to draw closer to Him every day. I look forward to seeing what He has in store for my family and friends this year. I look back on 2011, inventory my growth, and evaluate lessons I need to learn from my shortcomings so that I may continue to strive for the perfection Christ modeled for us. I resolve to love others as Christ loved us and to work diligently to make a difference in the lives of those around me.
It is my prayer that, if you've read this, you, also, will enjoy the best life God has to offer. I pray that you will continue on your journey through this life with him, and if you haven't taken that step, that you may be challenged to give it a try. Once you truly experience his love, you won't want to live without it! May this year's resolution be lasting, and the peace and joy you find this year, surpass anything you've ever dreamt or imagined.
Happy New Year!!
(and for the sake of silliness...I resolve to find a "healthy" cheesecake recipe by my next birthday.) ;)
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